Less than three weeks ago I spoke to an inspirational blogger who believes in embracing the fuller figure and trying to make the best of the body you have. This worked for a few days & it was unbelievably great; I felt confident, enlightened and free from the toils of everyday calorie counting. Before I knew it, I became so 'comfortable' with my own self that I started to forget everything I had come to learn about healthy eating and being confident in my own skin.
Since the start of this new approach to my own body image three weeks ago, I have ironically felt sluggish, fugly and gained half a stone! I know from previous experience that I don't do things by half and once I slip off the wagon I become engulfed in over eating pretty FAST!
Some people avoid calorie counting, embrace their shape, maintain the same weight and live happily ever after but I relate better with self discipline, targets and a clear plan of how to achieve those important goals.
I may not be sure of many things but I know one thing for sure... If I continue to gain weight and enter the '17 stoen club' as a consequence I will be utterly disgusted in myself and will feel extremely deflated.
Change needs to happen and there's no time like the present. Firstly, I have this second returned from a trip to the 'Naughty cupboard' & have emptied it of it's contents until further notice or until I can be trusted again. Secondly, I have used this blog for nearly 2years now as a method of self reflection and gaining perspective. Due to this recent new take on things I decided my blog would focus primarily on fashion and avoid issues about weight-loss entirely. I feel that my recent weigh-gain is accredited to the fact that this blog has taken a back seat for a few weeks; instead my thoughts, emotions and rants have remained entrapped which have resulted in lots of comfort eating to compensate. As of today the blog will resume talk of weight loss and dieting whilst maintaining a few feature articles about fashion.
I almost feel like Iv let all of the other bloggers down but this is simply what works for ME! I respect other curvy bloggers greatly, believe me when I say you are all beautiful and inspiration, I just cannot go back to that dark place where I felt withdrawn & depressed being 20+stone in 2009.
I will never be a Skinny-Minnie I just want to be happy with my own appearance like I was just a month ago.
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