- Breathing In~ On photos, in the street, out in town.....basically everywhere there are people. I don't do this so much these days but I remember getting really tired of this agonising task when I was lot bigger.
- Social Expectations~ One Facebooker who contributed towards this blog believes there are cosmetic expectations within society which pressurise girls into feeling they have to look a certain way to be sexy & successful...I totally agree. People with anorexia are offered help and guidance more easily than those who are over weight....under eating is regarded as an illness yet overeating is not, bizarre really. There are clinics across the UK for anorexia but being over weight is still very much a taboo subject; no one really wants to face it.
- Employability~ Studies have shown that appearance drastically effects your likely hood of being employed and apparently also determines your success at work and how serious people take you. Well...would you credit it.....if your fat your clearly incapable.At the age of 15 my own English teacher informed me that fat people were less likely to gain successful jobs as interviewers find thinner people more cosmetically pleasing; although his view had been proven this was still soul destroying for an over-weight teenager.Additionally, employers are less likely to employ fatter candidates due to the stereotype that fat people are lazy slobs. Well! I have news for you 'Sir' I went to University, gained my degree, walked straight into a well paid NHS job I find rewarding & I am about to start training to become a Qualified Wedding Planner....Hmmmmm.
- Hurtful Comments~ Nasty comments regarding my weight have been known to effect me for weeks after, many of them I still remember the time & context in which they occurred. These comments can come out of the blue and are often from the people you least expect it from; shop assistants, 'friends', family etc. A good friend of mine has been with her partner for some time and she recently mentioned how she'd like to have a shape shifter superpower so she could change into who ever she wished, her partners response was 'you ARE a shape shift, you've gone from thin to fat!'; now I can have a laugh & a joke with the rest of the world but I think that's bullying, hurtful and soul destroying for a girl trying desperately to lose weight. Personally if my partner every said anything like that I would leave him just out of principle, why on earth would I stay with someone who clearly didn't love me for ME? Id never forgive myself....One Facebooker told me how she bought three sausage rolls in Greggs only to hear a nasty weight-related comment from the Shop-assistant on leaving the shop!'; she asked for a sausage roll NOT your feedback on how her diet was going. Most over weight women probable would have also experienced the same moment I had the displeasure of living last year: a total strange approaching them and asking them 'When are you due?' ....still makes me cringe. Bottom line is, those comments are not helpful at all & as Walt Disney's Thumper always said 'If you aint got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all!'
- Body Insecurities~Although I believe that my partner loves me unconditionally (he too used to be fat) there are still a few insecurities there. I know its wrong but I sometimes think 'Am I his biggest girlfriend?' 'What were the others like?'. Several woman have reported not being jealous of their partners but jealous at the way they perceive other women. My own partner loves Megan Fox, I never even attempted to live up to her standards and basically told him where the door was if he ever wanted to go in search of Miss.Fox and her perfect figure. Some guys can love a woman but not have to tell her every second of the day that she's beautiful, although I don't seek (nor require) constant praise I love to have a few more compliments perhaps.
- Body shape confusion~ We are all well aware of the various body types out there; the apple, the pear, the hourglass. Well heres one for you....Im inventing a body shape perfect for myself called 'The Watch'; by definition The Watch is thin on top (the strap), big in the middle (the clock face) and then thin again (the strap). I am fed up of having to live in leggings & jeggins because fashion designers for the HighStreet fail to acknowledge short girls with big bellies and thin legs. Similarly, designers fail to acknowledge that some bigger women are large yet have no bust.....
- Shopping torture (Women)~ Perhaps the thing I hate the most about being over-weight is the fact that I am limited to a certain number of stores to buy clothing in. Often I resort to hour long searches online to find those special purchases. On the other hand, a few weeks ago I did get to thinking how time consuming it would be shopping in the SALES if I was of a 'normal' size....When I shop in the sales I go to certain shops which has certain sections; short, sweet & simple even if it IS a little limited. Larger person clothing is often dull in colour and lacking imagination, wherever designers got the impression that all fat women like to wear garments that resemble tepees I do NOT know.
- Shopping torture (Men)~ Plus size men can often face the exact same dilemmas as their female other halves might whilst out shopping. My own partner used to be over 20stone and since shrinking to around 15stone the fashion opportunities opened up to him are endless; his wardrobe has drastically altered. Previously, he would only shop online and would use Ebay most daily. Something I never considered but a Facebook user recently brought it to light is the fact that some High street retailers like New Look do have sections for Plus size women but there really are no alternatives for plus size men. Due to the fact that woman are traditionally regarded as the more vulnerable sex, we often forget to consider the fact that men might also experience the exact same feelings and dilemmas as we do as plus size women.
- Thinner Friends~ If you think shopping is stressful then try shopping with thin friends. these trips can often be problematic when accompanied by 6 other girls who each wear between a size 8-12; Id often find myself wither shopping along, doing it online or having to separate from the group and sneak of to the 'fat ladies shops'. My best friend is of a healthy weight and quite clearly we are polar opposites when it comes to body type. Whenever we are together we might dine out, drink cocktails or have nights in where we just buy in lots of tasty treats and chat about life really. Although we can consume the exact same diet there are clear differences in our appearance....damn her fast metabolism & damn MY genetics Haha. Whilst at University I perhaps felt the lowest Id ever felt about myself; there I was surrounded by beautiful girls, most of whom could have looked attractive in a skanky old bin liner. I applied for many promotional jobs (handing out flyers etc) most of which required you submit a photograph on application. Clearly they only wanted the 'pretty' girls handing out their shitty flyers. My University experience was so precious as I learnt alot about not only myself but also about the different types of people in this strange worlds and the extents to which some people would go to in order to feel included. On the other hand, recent studies have shown that if you are over weight but surround yourself with thin friends then you are more likely to be successful in your mission to fight the bulge due to conformism.
- Public Humiliation~ Since the beginning of time people have felt the need to inflict pain and humiliation on other people in order to mask the hatred they have towards their selves. School was really no issue for me, my attitude kept the bullies at bay (for the majority of the time) and any other weight-related incident simply build character & made me stronger I think. For those of you who didn't cope so well with the child-hood taunters I often take a few minutes to reflect on my past and think about where all those bullies are now? (Facebook is great for stalking losers from your past) I can't say I don't gain a sense of power when I find some of them are in prison, abusing drugs or have no future prospects. KARMA! School bullying is one thing but in people who inflict public humiliation on someone unable to defend themselves really does makes me angry. I entered a Mansfield bar a few years back and a Drag queen DJ (undoubtedly the ugliest bloody man dressed as a woman I ever did see) took the opportunity to have a one way conversation with me using the Microphone whilst the entire bar observed. The conversation went a little like this;
"Didn't I used to go to school with you?"(I was confused as the he/she was clearly 10years my senior)
"I did! I remember you used to have a favourite instrument" (I was even more confused!)
*Everyone looked on in suspense!*
" Wasn't it the bell?.....the DINNER bell!"
- Unfortunate song titles~ I could spend the entire evening listing inappropriate songs which put the spotlight on any plus size girl in a nightclub whenever they come on. 'Big girls you are beautiful', 'Big girls don't cry' (they bloody do), Before the song even reaches the first bridge everyone is actively scoping out a fat girl to humiliate and point at when the chorus kicks in.
- Health~ The facts are endless! Obesity has been proven to decrease your life expectancy and reduce your overall quality of life; diabetes, high blood pressure, a heart condition the list goes on. I personally know a few people who have severe life changing illnesses due to their over indulgent past. I think if I had Children of my own Id certainly feel more pressurised to lose weight FAST instead of sticking to a slow paced diet.
- Blaming others~ Come on, hands up! Who blames a social event, a person or even a bad day at work for their slight gain in weight? We all do it. Perhaps removing the blame from ourselves and putting it onto someone else is helpful at the time but is certainly negative in the long run.
- Embarrassing seatbelt incidents~ Travelling back from a girls holiday in 2009 I was at my biggest and weighed just over 20stone, I laughed it off and made a joke out of a situation where I was unable to fasten my seatbelt due to the mass that was my tummy. CRINGE! I also went to a theme-park when I was 16 with an old Boyfriend and I was so mortified for him when he was refused onto the ride after cuing up for over three hours simply because he was unable to fit.
- Constant Dieting~ I will be the first to admit that I am a prime offender when it comes to switching diets and never really sticking to anything for longer than a week. Looking back, I think I have been on some diet or another since the age of around eleven.
- The Effort Required~ It has to be said that fat people have to invest more time & effort into just about everything; looking good, shopping for clothes, making a good impression...the list goes is endless. Then of course there's the constant point watching, calorie counting, food weighing torture that is the actual diet. Just think about how much of a dieters time goes on planning meals, creating healthy recipes, finding appropriate ingredients, portion control....fact is its much easier to just eat cake! Myself & my partner both agree that its hard for fat people to lose weight considering all they actually do is think about food.
- Fat Fetish Groups & Organisations~ Many of you may have heard of BBM (Big Beautiful Women) organisations which link bigger women with male counterparts who have a taste for a larger mate; this I understand. What I fail to understand are these fat acceptance organisations which encourage women to have so much confidence that they might appear on camera dressed in inappropriate clothing whilst men pay them to gorge themselves and gain weight for their own sexual pleasures. Seriously? have a little bit of respect for yourself. I totally understand someone who embraces their confidence but those types of sites really do make over-confidence unattractive. Do not pretend to accept yourself when you are 100lbs overweight, its nothing more than a sign of someone who tried, failed and is now in total denial.
- Personal care~ When I weighed in at 20 looking after myself was a huge pain in the butt yet it was still something that needed doing. I would find myself doing bath time aerobics just to shave my legs and don't even get me started on painting my own toe-nails.
- Wondering 'When will this end?'~ Considering I was always a 'porky' Child & appear to have been on a constant diet since the age of around 11 I often ask myself will there come day when I can STOP labelling myself fat? What IS fat exactly? Will I ever totally ditch diet plans? What about this blog? Will I ever be able to say 'remember when I was fat?...' Well I do hope so.
Sunday, 12 August 2012
Reasons People Hate Being Fat