Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Victims of time

My favourite film 'The Notebook' is the greatest love story ever told.
Wanting to watch a film this afternoon I opted for perhaps the best love story ever told; The Notebook. Whilst watching this film I suddenly started thinking about how many people had in fact been 'Victims of time'? My older sister herself going through great heartache with violent men only to end up with here high school sweetheart; coincidence? or fate maybe?
Ever tried to recall that very first kiss in the school playground or that first awkward encounter on the sofa when his parents were out of town on a weekend trip?

Naturally, as women we cast our minds back to all those men that have passed through our lives to date, those that were there briefly, those you wish hadn’t visited at all and those who left a mark (good or bad) that you’ll undoubtedly remember forever. We recall the ones that we couldn’t ‘catch’ the ones that didn't deserve us and the ones that got away and yet looking at my relationship with Andrew now I realise that all those missed opportunities and endless nights of heartache were worth while; the very small part of me that still believes in a higher power might even suggest that God had bigger plans for my love life and thought I really deserved to be loved in return.
Whilst single and at University I can recall sitting in Starbucks sipping my regular oversized calorific hot chocolate when a friends of mine suggested creating a mental time line of all the males (the freakish, the bad & the down right ugly) we had encountered in our short 19years of life. Slowly, we began to recognise a pattern. We go for the same guys we warned ourselves against…did the fact we were supposed to stay away make them seem more appealing?

Some men may leave and never return and yet others may rear their ugly heads at different points throughout your life (often when your at your happiest). You begin asking yourself why him? of all the people in this tiny god forsaken town why do I bump into him!? Is it fate or just chance? If our paths keep crossing then maybe the Gods are forcing us together and its really meant to be; victims of time one might suggest. Alternatively you may just be very unlucky and he could be the overly eager stalking type.
Victims of time is becoming increasingly popular now.  when your fun, free flirty and single your ideal man is often off the market and in a full time relationship and therefore off limits. Then, just typical of life, when that persons relationship comes to a mutual end and he’s looking for his next lover your tied up with a house, a husband, three children and a morgage…hence the phrase victims of time. If only you’d moved slower…or he’d moved faster….if only. Sound confusing right? Its a love battlefield out there, I for one am so relieved that my own life is so simple & straightforward these days. 
I am the biggest culprit when it comes to romanticising life so it replicates a predictable ROM-com similar to those at the Cinemas. Unsurprisingly I know for a fact that some truely romantic women will live out their miserable single lives waiting in hope that once day their ex-partner (who they believed was their 'soul mate') will eventually appear in their life again. All Ill say is often in life you have to experience the bad to appreciate the good. I for one realise only now that until Andrew (current partner) Id never in fact been in live at all; whatever that was in my past relationships it was NOT love.  

So why do I still see women choosing to wait around and see which familiar face from their past comes along in the future? Surely people cannot risk putting their lives on hold on the off chance their life does eventually turn out to replicate a best-selling romantic novel and you one day bump into ‘the one that got away’ in the frozen food isle of ASDA. 

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