Monday, 1 July 2013

Count your blessings

Iv always been so impatient..... anybody will tell you the same.
Recently, Iv been annoying myself with negative thoughts about my overall success in life so far. Most of you may be thinking 'wait! she's only 24! this girl is so over dramatic' ... guess what? Your totally right! people in the past have accused me of 'always wanting better' and sometimes I don't see the harm in having this attitude but your quickly begin to ask yourself 'Will I ever be content & happy?'. Fact is I have so much to be grateful for & my life is truly blesses but sometimes like everyone I guess... I simply forget. I have so many beautiful people around me where some people have no-one. I have yet to experience any REALLY close barievements even at the age of 24. Although it might be unconventional and crazy at times I have a small but for the best part supportive family who have made me the strong, independent achiever I am today.
Andrew thinks I'm hormonal (generic man code for 'Your being overemotional') but the truth is... recently  have been thinking alot about things & feeling a little deflated. Today it got to the stage where I began to even annoy myself, after all Andrew has been totally supportive & its about time I did something to pull myself out of this rut!

I constantly remind myself that we only get one life, one chance to make a life for ourselves. I look around me and see people my age with grown up Children, cars and a house (mostly on the council with the odd exception) I cant help but compare my own life. Overall, I've done everything in a traditional order... Education, Fall in love, Get a 'big girl job' & Move in with a boy and to be honest I wouldn't change any of my University experience because as well as gaining a degree it made me into a more confident, strong woman (one so confident she met a stranger off the internet and ended up falling for him).

I look around me and see world devastation on the News; terrorism, natural disasters and  unprecedented acts of evil. Even amongst my closest associates I see people suffering loss, poor mental health, unemployment, financial hardship, failed relationships and so on. Daily, social networking site like Facebook is filled with general hatred or wrong doing in the world. Basically, Iv given myself a metaphorical slap around the face & I vow to be a more positive individual. I have so much to feel blessed about... lets just take a look...

Our Home~ We are in the process of saving to buy our first home together. Constant dreams of a a garden to sunbath in, a walk-in wardrobe and a cute little cottagey-feel house in Sheffield is all we can talk of some days. saving can be stressful and annoying especially when there are other things tempting the pennies out of my purse like constantly updating my wardrobe etc. This task has been particularly hard as I have never saved in my life (seriously). Currently we have a really good set up living in a 1 bed cottagey-feel apartment which we have made into our own and kitting out with lots of pretty Vintage-style nick-nacs. Sad thing is this property doesn't have a garden which often annoys me. I often forget that this time 2 years ago we didn't even live together, between us we only owned clothing and personal items like mobile phones and laptops, in just 2 short years we have so many beautiful things..... I'm proud to say we've made a home.

Travelling~ Like everyone I enjoy a holiday but saving for the house has meant that holidaying in the summer has been a no starter. Similar to most I often get grumpy this time of year if I'm not going anywhere exotic..... how selfish & pathetic! I realised today that there are people out there dying for their country and fighting to have things we take for granted like education & equal opportunity and here's Janette crying because she can't whip out her factor 30 and sit on a beach! REALLY!???

My job~ Like most people I enjoy having a good moan about my job and general feelings of under appreciation or a lack of job satisfaction in the work place. Andrew often reminds me that in this climate I was actually very lucky to gain a well paid NHS position straight from University whilst half of my class peers had to opt for work in supermarkets just to make ends meet. The fact is that although my job is stressful, I have lots of days off and its currently paying for our new home.... that job is literally funding our hopes and dreams of the future. I guess there are millions of people who sit on that Monday morning tram at feeling like their worlds going to end and that they might actually cry but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one.....truth is everybody else has accepted that 'that's life'!

Loved one~ One of my biggest blessings in life is that even though I'm only 24 I have managed to experience heartache and breakups before finally finding someone who actually completes me; makes me laugh so much it hurts and loves me so much I often think why! I never realised my life was missing so much until I met Andrew almost 4 years ago; he is such a practical thinker unlike me and is often nearby to ground me and tell me to 'man up!'. As well as our family (his & mine) who I love dearly I also have a best friend who I can share every detail of my life with and who has been supporting me for almost 13 years now.

Sometimes I forget I'm only 24! My expectations (of my own life and achievements) are sometimes so high and premature. Like, what other 24 year old can say they've honestly found their soul-mate so early on with whom they're saving for a house for. Yeah I want the Children, the House the Vintage wedding like in the Movies but I have to remember that this is real life and everything simply doesn't unfold in the space of 100minutes as it often does in the Movies; Within the space of one film boy meets girl, girl falls in love with guy, guy and girl get married, have babies and rule the world as a close knit family unit!... By anybody's standards that's a heck of a lot to fit into a few short hours, I have all on having a bath & shaving my legs in that amount of time.

Forget about what ISNT happening for you at the moment and cherish your blessings. From now on I plan to count my blessings everyday and remind myself that I have my entire life ahead of me. if I continue doing what Im doing now, realistically in 3years time I could be debt free and own our own home if only I remain positive and focused.

Rebecca Fergusons music (this song in particular; see left) means alot to us. We went to see her live in concert last year and she really sums up everything with this truly inspiring song. Forget about all the material things;the cars, the money, the job and stay focused on those beautiful people around you.

Ever since I was a little girl my Mother has always said 'It wont always be dark at six', only now as a grown up do I understand what this actually means. There is plenty to look forward to, for it won’t always be dark at six- remember this.

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