Eating my feelings.....

Its no secret that a lot of people eat their feelings, sad fact is certain people go as far to eat other peoples feelings too ha. I have always ate my feelings ever since I could remember; happy feelings, sad feelings and any feeling in between. I always have and always will be in a passionate 'its complicated' relationship with food. Every special occasion in my life to date without a doubt includes a celebratory meal of some sort. My first date with andrew... Chinese, my Graduation... Chinese, failed relationships... Chinese and so on until I reached 20.5stone in 2009

Visiting family back home in Mansfield. Nottinghamshire I suddenly found myself wanting to stuff myself simply for the sake of it and reintroduce myself to all those old stodgy favourites like chips & beans, mayo sandwiches (yes! It really is no wonder I was over 20stone) etc . It was almost like my body recognised a familiar environment and assumed it should have been gorging till I felt physically sick like old times. Its amazing how much power my family home still has over my subconscious because whenever I visit I suddenly revert back to that 15 year old girl with little control over anything in my life; family, food, and boys!

If I'm completely honest the experience really confused me; my old unhealthy eating habits totally conflicted with my new 'more water, less food' philosophy. Thank goodness I managed to no over indulge no thanks to my Mums Birthday buffet.

My new life in Sheffield is much healthier as a whole; emotionally & physically I am a much calmer happier (and not to mention healthier ) woman. I do not have to face the scrutiny from others who liked to criticise my weight loss efforts whenever their own efforts has gone astray, for once I'm going at it alone and for once its working (slowly but still effective). I am now totally accountable for my own success in this task and no one else can influence my progress so long as I stay focused and realise I'm a 24year old woman who for once is doing something for herself!

I am not moaning but instead I simply find myself in a reflective mood whenever I visit my past.

For now its back to the future.... Sunny Sheffield that is.